The NHL’s biggest star, Sidney Crosby, has his own line of commercials set to premiere later this spring when the moon is under Venus and femininity is not bastardized by the media.
Rather than selling injuries while flopping all over the ice, Crosby will pitch his own line of tampons for women – and men who like shoving things up their ass.
“Some people may think I’m selling out bit I’m not,” said Crosby. “I’m just being me and I believe everyone has the right to shove things into their lower extremities in the privacy of their own homes with whatever wayward teen boy they can convince to join them.”
There’s no word yet on what Crosby will do in the commercial, however, several donkeys had their IMDB pages updated to include the string of advertisements.