Rookie center Lesbian Haircut thought his role on the Flyers this season would be more minuscule than its femininity. In a poll of players, the butch hairdo was named the toughest player in the NHL.
When asked if he thought of himself as a goon, the short spiky man-hating hair said, “Goons cause trouble. I don’t. I’m more practical than your average woman’s haircut.”
The lesbian hair explained how he never gets tangled with himself and would prefer to only do so with other tough players in the league. Although smaller than most and frequently suffering from cuts at the expense of however much Hair Cuttery now charges, the lesbian hair gets the job done.
In building toward the future, the Flyers are hopeful that the hair sticks around for the long haul or at least while short hair on dykes is still trendy.