Chip Kelly Trades Himself

chip kelly trade

In unstoppable fashion, Eagles head coach Chip Kelly has reportedly traded himself. The team he’ll join is still a mystery, however, many think it’ll be somewhere outside of Philadelphia since basic logic and process of elimination says it must.

Through melancholy tears Kelly said, “My run in Philly was great. I’m really going to miss it.”

Reporters did follow up and question the move to which Kelly requested they trade in their original questions for something he was willing to answer.

The blockbuster deals – meaning outdated and only your grandpa likes them – the Eagles have made this offseason are a bit perplexing. For instance, have any of the players of this team even met before?

Name tag salesmen in the Philadelphia area eagerly waiting for the season to begin and their business to boom. Frequent 94 WIP caller, Mitchy Tools, has already traded in the snow shovels for the plain white stickers with “Hello My Name Is” in bold font on the top.

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