New iPhone 6 Can Do Everything Except Get Flyers to the Playoffs

iphone6

A lot of people are talking about the iPhone 6. It’s the latest product from Apple and has women’s vaginas wetter than a rainy day without an umbrella.

The new piece of technology can do so much too. From phone calls to replacement door stops, the iPhone 6 can do everything except get the Flyers to the postseason.

“No matter what part of the rink we hold it in we can’t get a signal,” said defenseman Nick Schultz. “These things are useless. It’s like we have two Vincent Lecavaliers.”

Several Flyers have already converted back to the more practical blackberry or android. Although those phones can look tacky and cheap, at least your bill doesn’t cost half your rent.

Plus, what can it do other than take better pictures of your crappy friends?

Fuck this phone.

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