The Phillies phinally phinalized a phantastic trade today when they sent the universally hated team closer, Carl from The Walking Dead, to the Milwaukee Brewers. Who they got back doesn’t really matter. Carl is gone!
Since signing with the Phillies, Carl has been outspoken about the team’s struggles. He also seems to go missing constantly despite not having any place to wander off to.
“The contract was a mistake,” admitted general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. “It’s time we move on and start rebuilding.”
Rumor has it, the much more beloved character from the new Star Wars Trilogy, Jar-Jar Binks, will replace Carl.