Markers Boycott Writing on Phillies’ Lineup Cards


Markers across the country are reportedly boycotting their use on the Phillies’ lineup card in 2015. The unionized group of writing utensils feels they’d be doing the devil’s work if they assisted the team in putting a team on the field.

This act of defiance leaves manager Ryne Sandberg with far fewer options. Pencils appear like the obvious choose with pens not far behind.

Until a settlement between the team and markers is agreed upon, the Phillies will have to verbally communicate with each other in a polite manner. Fuck!

The Phillies are also considering crayons, although, experts believe it will give the team a childish appearance. The last thing the Phillies want people to think is that they are run by children or old people with brains as such.


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