Phillies Announce They Will Close for the Summer

closed for summer

Like outdoor ice skating rinks and low crime rates, the Phillies will not be around this summer. The team has decided to close up shop and give the players on the roster a “much needed break.”

This marks the first time since the late 1990s that the team has chosen to close for an entire year. The vacant Citizens Bank Park will make use of its space by offering concerts and refuge for immigrants stranded at sea. In other words, finally some talented foreigners involved with Phillies baseball even if it’s just defecating in left field. Then again, is that much different than Domonic Brown trying to field a fly ball?

The Phillies plan to reopen in time for the 2016 season, a year that will surely plenty of opportunities to see them lose games.


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