The Flyers are much closer to a playoff berth than expected. A poor start to the season followed up with a hot streak post All-Star Break has them inching closer to the postseason. At last measurement, the Flyers were 7cm dilated and ready to pop out.
“We’re confident in our abilities as a team,” said Jakub Voracek. “We won’t take our shirts off at the beach, and thankfully hockey lets us cover our body shame.”
Voracek continued with a diatribe about other insecurities he has, such as talking on the phone with someone he is not familiar with.
Right now the Flyers have to pass the Florida Panthers and Boston Bruins if they want the last wild card spot.
“Hey, I’m wild. I think I deserve a wild card spot,” said team captain Claude Giroux while reminding us all how wild he can get.
The Flyers still have about a month and a half left to play and catch up with the rest of the conference. Had the groundhog not seen his shadow, the Flyers would have had a little longer as the NHL season’s length is heavily dependent on an animal’s shadow as is the long-tradition of the sport.