WFAG in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania is one of many stations in the area opting to no longer carry Phillies games. Instead, the station has decided to play recordings of everything mean ever said to you throughout your entire life.
“It’s what people would rather hear,” said Program Director Matt Polishski. “Maybe years ago it would be a bad idea. Now, with this roster, we’re expecting increased listenership even if the broadcast brings back a lot of painful memories.”
The programs will include such events as when your mom told you she wished you were a miscarriage all the way up until your wife let you know your father fucks her better. There is also at least a whole years worth from seventh grade when you were teased relentlessly for being poor, fat, and ugly.
Some may find the programming a bit punishing at first, but once they see the National League East standings in July, they’ll be much happier reliving life’s darkest moments than listening to Phillies baseball.