Ankle Sprain Suspended for Showing Up High


Eagles wide receiver, Ankle Sprain, has been suspended by the team for 5 games after showing up to a charity event high. A drug test reports that the high Ankle Sprain was under the influence of marijuana, cocaine, and seasonal Dunkin Donuts coffee.

Ankle Sprain has been with the Eagles for some time now and gotten close with all of the good defensive players. Friends of Ankle Sprain think the drug use may be associated with the Ankle Sprain being low, possibly even suffering from depression.

In a press release, Ankle Sprain expressed great regret for the use of illegal substances. Ankle Sprain also wanted to remind everyone that he’s a leg injury and any quotes from him are fabricated as bodily injuries do not have an opinion or way of communicating other than hurting really bad.


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