The most important merger in sports history took place this weekend when the NBA decided to tie the knot with the WNBA.
“This isn’t a marriage,” said WNBA Commissioner Snatch McKenzie. “This is a common-law relationship because if we can’t marry then neither can the NBA.”
The merger was huge news for the 76ers as it means they are no longer the worst team in the league. The Los Angeles Todger Dodgers are winless this season, meaning, if the draft were to occur today, the Todger Dodgers would have the most ping-pong squares in the draft lottery.*
*Note: Due to the inclusion of women in professional basketball, ping-pong balls will no longer be used as it is a deeply symbolic representation of men and their testicles. To even things out, squares will be used instead.