Martin Brodeur Retires – Flyers Still Can’t Win a Stanley Cup

Martin Brodeur

New Jersey Devils’ legend to the six fans they have, Martin Brodeur, hung up his skates Thursday after a forgotten stint with the St. Louis Blues. Well, to be frank, he didn’t so much hang them up as much as he violently tossed them into a closet then slept with his wife’s sister.

The absence of Brodeur from the NHL is great news for the Flyers. He beat them so many times even Rihanna thinks the Flyers are silly for going back.

By some stroke of misfortune, even without Brodeur around the Flyers continually fail to win. This could be due to a lack of scoring depth and the continued employment of their own goaltenders.

Right now the Flyers have about as much of a chance at making the playoffs as I do and I can’t skate with hockey skates; I need the longer bladed ones used to figuring skating. In company with me, the Flyers will wear their home bleak and orange colored jerseys for the remainder of the season instead of the usual black and orange to commemorate the state of the team.

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