Sixers’ Owner Joshua Harris Stunned to Learn Basketballs are Round

Shock and dismay after learning basketball are round, Joshua Harris

Shock and dismay after learning basketball are round, Joshua Harris

The world has many beautiful shapes and even more ugly ones. The standard shape for basketballs has always been round with the exception of the 1971 ABA who tried the square ball for a few games. A lack of movement with the ball and several eyes lost from its corners, they decided to switch back.

While most of us are familiar with a basketball’s shape, the owner of the 76ers – Joshua Harris – was shocked to learn how round they were.

“I was expecting more of a trapezoidal shape,” Harris said. “You know, like a cross between a typical round ball and a basket.”

The error, an honest and forgivable one for anyone born in Western China or a female, has made Harris look bad to the public since he is not Chinese or someone with a vagina.

“I’m in the process of learning the game better,” Harris said while clutching a copy of Basketball For Dummies to his chest. “It’s a beautiful sport and I would like to actually be able to understand what’s going on without checking Wikipedia on each play.”

Harris already has some of the lingo down and promises to use basketball slang more often in the public.

“My basketball education feels like a slam dunk already,” said Harris. “I’ve picked and rolled to spend more time learning about this game. I know it won’t be a free throw, but I will bounce pass the test.”


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