Chip Kelly Goes Back to College to Coach University of Phoenix


Shocking everyone including himself, now former Eagles’ coach Chip Kelly has decided to step away from the team and head back to college. Like so many comedies in the 1980s where ordinary people are put in unordinary situations, Kelly will be taking his NFL experience to the University of Phoenix online.

Best known for their commercials that are louder than necessary, the University of Phoenix online has struggled to put together a contending football team for some time now. Since they allow people from all over the country to attend their classes, practicing has been incredibly difficult.

“This is the 21st Century and it’s time online colleges are relevant in sports,” said Kelly in regards to the decision. “I have faith in myself and this school that we can assemble a team worthy of competing in a bowl game by 2017.”

Kelly has already spoken to 94 WIP host Angelo Cataldi about several of the team’s players competing in next year’s Wing Bowl.

Not since Ashford University’s women’s polo team won by disqualification after the Duke student body tried to rape them all has there been this much talk about online universities and sports. For Kelly’s sake, he has to hope the University of Phoenix online defense is good enough to prevent sexual assault.


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