This offseason for the Phillies will be an interesting one. In years past the mission was to build a team to “win now.” The 2014-2015 offseason has the team looking in a new direction: getting younger.
The first step toward this may have been today’s signing of Adam from The Bible. With the support of his common-law wife Eve, Adam inked a 35-year deal worth eternal bliss in the Garden of Eden.
“Signing with the Phillies was the right decision,” said Adam. “I was tempted by a few other teams, but they were just going to pay me in an apple. Who knew the Mets were so cheap?”
At 6,000-years-old, Adam is one of the younger Phillies on the team. Likely he will be competing for a job in the starting rotation against veteran Aaron Harang who is several months older than Adam. A battle between the old and than even older, the Phillies are by no means wasting money on a pitcher way past his prime.