Phillies Get Young with Signing of Adam from The Bible

adam the bible

This offseason for the Phillies will be an interesting one. In years past the mission was to build a team to “win now.” The 2014-2015 offseason has the team looking in a new direction: getting younger.

The first step toward this may have been today’s signing of Adam from The Bible. With the support of his common-law wife Eve, Adam inked a 35-year deal worth eternal bliss in the Garden of Eden.

“Signing with the Phillies was the right decision,” said Adam. “I was tempted by a few other teams, but they were just going to pay me in an apple. Who knew the Mets were so cheap?”

At 6,000-years-old, Adam is one of the younger Phillies on the team. Likely he will be competing for a job in the starting rotation against veteran Aaron Harang who is several months older than Adam. A battle between the old and than even older, the Phillies are by no means wasting money on a pitcher way past his prime.


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