We all die someday. That’s a sad fact of life depending on who it happens to. For some, death is a sweet escape to a permanent dream realm where mommy and daddy still love each. Others, we’re actually missed.
The first step in dying is usually checking your symptoms on WebMD. A website voted more frightening than watching your parents have sex, it is designed to make you believe an itchy head could be a tumor so you buy lots of medicine.
New diseases are always coming around too – with the most recent, being a 76ers fan. Once thought to be a common trait is now viewed as a debilitating disease.
Symptoms of being a 76ers fan include lethargy, hopelessness, and losing a ton. Obstructed bowels are also associated however not guaranteed.
Doctors advise anyone suffering from this disease to drink plenty of alcoholic fluids during games as not partaking makes watching basketball painful.
In extreme cases of 76ers fandom, doctors recommend suicide as a second resort.