Embarrassing news from the Eagles as linebacker Connor Barwin learned that there are more options to getting around Philadelphia than just riding SEPTA.
After yet another delay while riding the transit system, Barwin did some research and learned Philadelphia is one of every single city in the country to legalize driving cars.
“It’s a big mistake on my part and something I should have paid far more attention to,” said Barwin while sitting on a train platform late for everything. “From now on I’ll be driving my own car to work.”
Because he is now the operator of an automobile, Barwin only feels it’s fair to cease lying about how wonderful SEPTA is. He will instead help to promote the beloved Philadelphia Parking Authority and their justifiably ruthless laws.