Water Does Not Solve Flyers’ Goal-Scoring Drought


Two games in a row the Flyers have been unable to score a goal. Several players on the team were hopeful some water could help end the drought, however, even after buying several Dasani water bottles and drinking them the drought doesn’t appear to be over.

What the Flyers have neglected to realize is that goal-scoring has nothing to do with hydration. Fair enough, not drinking any water at all will eventually cause a team to get shutout on a nightly basis as everyone would die. However, in this case, the term “drought” is far different than that of an African nation that changes its name like my ex-girlfriend changes boyfriends. Bitch.

Although the team has failed to find a cause for the lack of scoring, they plan to continue experimenting with water consumption. This comes as a suggestion from the team trainer who up until this point has only had the job of identifying the difference between an upper and a lower body.


4 thoughts on “Water Does Not Solve Flyers’ Goal-Scoring Drought

  1. The main reason they’re having this draught, is because they didn’t participate in the ice-bucket challenge. That’s why they aren’t hydrated enough.

  2. Found this Gem of Wisdom while watching youtube with Captions turned ON….

    Claude Giroux needs to audition for Magic Mike. Stat.

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