Dallas Cowboys Renovating Stadium to Fit Chris Christie Inside

chris christie fat

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones rarely leaves the spotlight. Most of this is due to the fact that his night vision is terrible and he needs a heavy spotlight to see the college girl he’s fondling.

Stepping into the spotlight today, Jones announced immediate renovations to the AT&T Stadium – the abomination of a home for the Cowboys – which will allow New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to fit more comfortably inside.

“He’s our good luck charm,” said Jones about Christie. “Like a lucky piece of bacon or an extra snug pair of sweatpants at the big and tall store, I respect Christie and what he brings to the team. It’s important that we make the proper renovations to accommodate his enormous size better..”

Renovations are rumored to cost a hefty some. Done for a hefty man, young Cowboys fans are learning about irony quickly.

Until construction ends, Christie will circle the stadium with a Goodyear logo on his back.

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2 thoughts on “Dallas Cowboys Renovating Stadium to Fit Chris Christie Inside

  1. “Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important, latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.” – Kinky Friedman

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