Capitalizing on the support of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, the Dallas Cowboys have announced that they will be selling replicas of his ugly sweaters on the store website.
Each sweater will smell like Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones and comes with a mustard stain on the collar. Sizes include XXL, super obese, and planet.
Upon learning the news, Christie said, “No gesture has ever moved me like this one has. The only thing close was when the McRib came back and I moved as quickly as I could to get 20 of them.”
Those more interested in not dressing like a big fat pig can also use the sweater to cover their homes during a fumigation.