The MPAA has asked the Philadelphia 76ers to play better basketball with the threat that if they fail to do so the team will receive an NC-17 rating.
“Nobody under 17 needs to see this display of suckage,” said a representative of the MPAA. “In a society built on morals, it’s important to maintain and regulate everything from film, to sports, to the decisions you make with your own body.”
The MPAA has given the 76ers one month to improve or else the adults-only rating will be issued. Some believe for purposes of artistic integrity that the 76ers will continue to play poorly, as part of the “greater good” similar to how Hitler helped control the population.
Pending the opening day roster, the Philadelphia Phillies are also a potential target to receive the extreme rating. One option both teams have is to change the color red on their uniforms to a darker less blood-like shade because as everyone knows, it’s okay to murder someone as long as it isn’t a specific color.