Each year around the holidays the good pedophiles at Disney on Ice come to Philadelphia to block traffic for two consecutive weeks. While here, the Flyers are forced to go on the road and add a couple extra losses to their record.
In seasons past many have missed hockey in Philadelphia, however with the way this season is going, many are much more satisfied watching grown men dressed as Frozen characters prance around as they appear far tougher than this current Flyers roster.
“The Disney on Ice performers are tougher and more entertaining than the Flyers,” said Wells Fargo season ticket holder Dale Slocumb. “I saw a Sebastian the lobster fall then get right back up. If he was with the Flyers he would have missed a week with a mystery injury.”
The Flyers are feeling the heat when it comes to competing with the Disney Princesses. To help this, the team has considering trading for Sidney Crosby to obtain a princess of their own. Until Crosby recovers from the tampon he accidentally placed too far into his vagina, nobody in the Pittsburgh Penguins management wants to piss him off with trade talks.