One of the goals set for Nerlens Noel this off-season was to put on some weight. After being mistaken for a praying mantis, it became clear to him that strength and size was going to be a necessity if he wanted to make it through a game without verbal insults getting hurled at him by the opponent.
When Noel stepped on the scale yesterday there was some good news as his weight was up 15 pounds from the last time he had been weighed. Granted, Noel was holding a 20 pound dumbbell which if you understand math means he actually lost 5 pounds.
“We’re doing everything we can to put weight on Noel,” said Coach Brett Brown. “Fiber is no longer going to be allowed in his diet. I know that will just fill him up with shit, but who working for this team isn’t already?”
Noel has promised the team he will work a little harder to adding on some weight. He’s already meeting with his husband, Popeye the Sailorman, on possible ways to add lean body mass to his frame.