Following their loss in the early evening on Saturday to the Washington Redskins, and yes that counts, the hope of the Eagles making the playoffs has dwindled.
Fans are eagerly crunching numbers and looking at all possible scenarios that could lead to some Philadelphia football in February. The simplest scenario would involve the Dallas Cowboys losing today to the Indianapolis Colts and the Eagles using a time machine to not lose three games in a row at the end of the season.
“We are currently in contact with a man on Craigslist about obtaining a time machine,” said general manager Howie Roseman. “We’re meeting him at a dock tonight at midnight to discuss payment. There’s no time to waste. We want to prove to the fans immediately how determined we are to fix this collapse.”
Meanwhile, Roseman has no plans on upgrading the secondary or finding a relying quarterback.