Phillies General Manager Ruben Amaro Jr. was spotted at last week’s Winter Meetings behaving a little more white trash than usual. The other GMs, the ones with a positive job performance, were forced into talking with Amaro Jr. in the parking lot as he was not allowed access indoors due to the fear he would cause the floor to collapse.
Any deal Amaro Jr. made took place outdoors as he sold off several members of the Phillies from the trunk of his car.
“There was a little dust on Antonio Bastardo, but that’s to be expected from whence he came,” said Pittsburgh Pirates GM, a 17th century knight.
Unlike some other baseball GMs, Amaro Jr. was operating on a cash only system. Many thought of this as foolish since the Phillies need to do whatever it takes to change the direction of this team, which in its current state seems to be in a nose dive into the ocean. The only bonus of this, James Cameron has been considering making a documentary about them.
Amaro Jr. was unable to sell everything however if you visit your local farmers market you may be able to find him there this weekend. For those on your holiday shopping list looking for an overpaid veteran, you know where to go.