Contagious Disease Known as Yawning Spreads through Flyers’ Locker Room

yawn

While the rival New York Rangers deal with the mumps in the locker room and the Pittsburgh Penguins deal with Sidney Crosby’s pre-menstrual symptoms, the Flyers are seeking medical attention for another contagious disease: the yawn.

Yawning most often occurs in adults immediately before and after sleep, during tedious activities or when you’re just such a bad hockey team you lose interest. Yawning has hurt the Flyers this season far more than any of us realize.

“Guys are out their on the second, third shift of the game and they’re letting out a screeching yawn,”said Head Coach Craig Berube. “It has hurt our team significantly and it shows in the standings.”

So far the Flyers have tried replacing water with coffee in their diets, lighting off fireworks on the bench, and prayer to help ease the yawning. None of these tactics have worked although they will be calling in an exorcist next week if they don’t start winning.

“I get it, said Philadelphia Eagles’ cornerback Cary Williams. “People get sleepy sometimes. Ain’t a damn thing wrong with it.”

Once they return home without telling Vincent Lecavalier or Michael del Zotto where they are going, the Flyers believe it is very possible to win a game. If the 76ers can do it they can too, right?

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2 thoughts on “Contagious Disease Known as Yawning Spreads through Flyers’ Locker Room

  1. “So far the Flyers have tried replacing water with coffee in their diets, lighting off fireworks on the bench, and prayer to help ease the yawning.”

    Meh, not surprised these didn’t work. They need a bunch of teething kittens, some old dogs with bladder problems and REALLY loud neighbours. Oh, living near an ongoing 24-hr construction project helps too.

    • You really think those spoiled brats would move somewhere less awesome than they live already? I lived a mile away from their practice facility for about 2 years. They lived on the nice side of the tracks.

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