Shocked and disappointed, the Eagles selected linebacker Marcus Smith with their first pick in the 2014 NFL Draft. Projected to go somewhere after all of the good players but before a disabled player who was only signed as a PR move, Smith has lived up to the expectations of doing absolutely nothing.
Many have been questioning these last few weeks whether Smith was even ready for the NFL. After asking him, it was learned that Smith was still preparing.
“Oh man I’m so sorry guys!” Smith began. “I overslept a little bit. I still need to shave and shower. I’m not even sure where my wallet is. I got home late last night.”
While the Eagles were patiently waiting outside for Smith to come down, he was upstairs scrambling to get ready for an NFL game. As anyone who is running late will know, the lack of time to prepare made getting out the door even more frustrating.
Smith stubbed his toe, put his shirt on inside-out, and totally forgot to pee before leaving. He also checked the doorknob three times to make sure it was locked. Even after leaving, he felt like he had forgotten something. It was only hours later when he realized what it was.
“Football skills! That’s what I left at home.”