Archaeologists have uncovered the mummified remains of the last people to believe in the Phillies’ Management. Multiple tests have been conducted on the ancient bodies which date back to Ancient Mesopotamia and confirm these long dead people thought Ruben Amaro Jr. was a good General Manager.
Researchers are thrilled with the finding as it had been suggested that nobody ever believed in the current regime the Phillies have in the front office. Even more excited are those in charge. They believe with this new knowledge, that someone actually likes them, they can stick around for another mindless decade and challenge Andy Reid’s record of most consecutive disappointing seasons.
The newly discovered bodies will be transported out of the region they were discovered and somewhere that has actually evolved in the last 1,000 years. The Phillies are hoping these skeletons can be a symbol of hope and possibly if you feel so inclined, extreme necrophilia.