Fletcher Cox Changes Name to Fletcher Cock to Neutralize Expectations for Women

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Fletcher Cox has had a pretty good season on the football field. He’s actually making tackles and thanks to this is becoming hit with women willing to sleep with anyone on television. So far the only negative Cox has had from all of the attention is the expectation women have for him.

“I blame my last name,” said Cox. “When women hear it, they perk up. They think they’re about to get double the pleasure when in fact I only have one penis.”

Cox, a bearer of a uni-peni, believes the phonetic pronunciation of his last name and its similarity to the plural version of cock has mislead the public into thinking he is bi-peni, tri-peni, qui-peni, octa-peni, etc.

“He’s only got one penis,” confirmed teammate Connor Barwin, the team’s designated penis checker. “As far as size goes, it’s average. Ladies, don’t get your hopes up. Cox can only penetrate one hole at a time.”

Hoping to limit the expectations, Cox will be changing his last name to Cock. The no people with jerseys of his are rather upset however in this age of irony reigning supreme, are a little happy about owning a jersey of a guy who apparently no longer exists.

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