The least popular host in the history of the game show Family Feud–other than Richard Karn who was only ever referred to as “Al” from Home Improvement by contestants–Steve Harvey has lent a helping hand to Ryan Howard and his family. An expert at pitting families against each other to answer stupid questions asked of even stupider people, Harvey has agreed to counsel the Howards in solving all of their problems.
News broke this week that Howard’s family had been stealing money from him. Since Howard has only earned a fraction of what the Phillies are paying him right now, his family is really stealing money from all of us so we have even more reason to not care about this or feel bad in the least bit.
Harvey will train the Howards to work together while competing for $20,000 and a chance to come back the following day. Since $20,000 is the average cost of a Ryan Howard toilet paper roll, it doesn’t seem like a victory will really do much to solve the dispute.
Meanwhile, Howard continues to live in a giant fucking mansion while we’re supposed to feel bad for him and his shitty family.
And meanwhile, I live in a small apartment and don’t have any money for my family to steal so they take up my time with phone calls telling me “they’re worried” and “think I should seek help.”