Former Eagles’ wide receiver Jason Avant found a new home this off-season when he was cursed to play for the Carolina Panthers. A woeful season for the organization, Avant was warned not to let the door hit him on the ass today after he was cut for reportedly questioning everything.
“What’s with this play calling?” began Avant. “Who are we playing next week? What are our official colors? What’s our coach’s name again? Does life really have any meaning?”
Avant’s constant questioning of every little detail about the team and life in general became too much for the organization to handle so he was given a pink slip and a punch in the stomach on his way out.
“Why would they cut me?” asked Avant through a popular social media site that has asked to remain anonymous. “Is it how I’m playing? Am I too ugly? What’s wrong with me? Is there life out there beyond the stars?”
According to his former Eagles’ teammates, Avant has always had a problem with never knowing when to shut up. The rumor is that a big reason why he was not asked back to the team in 2014 was due to his constant question asking. According to one teammate of his, Avant carried around a deck of Trivial Pursuit with him wherever he went just as an excuse to ask even more questions.
Now jobless, the next question Avant will be asking is at what retail store he will be working at this holiday season.