NBA Commissioner Adam Silver Supports Legalized Mafia Involvement in the Outcome of Games

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There has been a lot of talk these past few weeks about the legalization of sports betting across the nation. Apparently, in a time when everyone whines constantly about being underpaid, the only way to satisfy us is letting us throw our money away on watching one-percenters lose while playing sports.

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, on a mission to please everyone, has come out in favor of the involvement of the mafia in the outcome of games.

“The mafia isn’t as intimidating as they used to be,” said Silver. “When was the last time you heard of them finding a dead mob boss?”

Silver, of course, failed to realize when someone crosses the mob they go missing and never turn back up again.

If gambling were to become legalized it would drastically cut down on the illegal involvement of the mafia. Thus, this action would make them a legitimate organization who would then have to pay taxes and apologize on Twitter whenever they make a mistake.

Although he supports gambling, Silver does not seem too active in making it happen. Instead he plans to sit back, observe, and poll everyone then go with the most popular choice. Silver’s priority seems to be making sure everyone is happy. He’s the lonely drunk girl who has already accepted she may very well die alone.

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