Mathematicians Create New Number for the Amount of Wins the Sixers Will Have This Season


Attention math geeks and everyone else who actually understands numbers: we’ve got a new one coming! Like when zoologists find a new species of ant or when artists revealed the color green in 2007, humankind is about to have a new lowest number created exclusively to match the number of wins the 2014-2015 Philadelphia 76ers will have.

Early reports indicated the number of wins the team will have is so embarrassingly low that it would be an insult to the rest of the single-digits numbers including the number of people who love you, 0. Because of this, numerologists are mixing potions and doing other mathy things to invent what will be a brand new number used only when referring to the Sixers’ win total.

Based on the math we already knows (1…2…4…7…6…etc.) there is no possible way to change things around. The same could be said about radio however that medium was reworked with the introduction of the very popular HD Radio. This new number though will not be high-definition. If anything, it will be of a lower-definition to match the ability of the organization.

Expect the new number to be revealed before the end of the season, but not after you question what the point is in watching a single basketball game this year.


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