A new day means a new excuse from Flyers’ goalie Steve Mason for why he started this season so bad. Mason now claims the source of his struggles was an extremely bright child named Randy.
Randy, a third grader in Germantown, is like any kid his age with an IQ in the 400s; calculated by Randy himself. Randy is said to be so unbelievably bright that he glows in the dark. This is of course just a joke as the real reason Randy glows is because he was born in a hospital that shared a water source with a nuclear power plant.
Why though would a child have such an effective on Mason? Many believe Mason is simply intimidated by Randy’s smarts and a little frightened by what he can do. Fear of children is nothing new as approximately 80% of the country shares it. The other 20% are pedophiles.
Mason has not commented further on Randy or how his existence could possibly have anything to do with being such a bad goalie. Right now getting an answer out of Mason is like asking him to make a save. Some requests are just too ridiculous.