Goaltender Steve Mason: A Little Too Tender; Way Too Goal

steve mason sucks

Flyers goaltender Steve Mason has gotten off to a start only a blind paraplegic midget could be proud of. To say he has been bad is an insult to the Michael Jackson album of the same name.

In an interview held after his first win of the season last night, Mason admitted to reporters that he has been a little too tender and way too goal in net. He promises to be much rougher going forward–surely exemplified by the beard he is growing because what can be more masculine than having a face that looks like a 1970s porn vagina? Mason also dressed as Rambo for Halloween so he’s definitely more rough and tumble.

Mason should continue to get starts on a frequent basis as long as the Flyers continue to have horrible teams like the Edmonton Oilers on their schedule. A lot of his playing time will also depend on how well backup goalie Ray Emery does. Up until now Emery has been amazing in net, fooling everyone into thinking he’s Russian despite the obvious (he has no accent!), so it is very possible Mason could soon become a part-time player instead of a starter.

For the sake of the season, Mason has to continue to toughen up. He can start by eliminating the phrase “oh fiddlesticks!” each time he gives up a goal.

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2 thoughts on “Goaltender Steve Mason: A Little Too Tender; Way Too Goal

  1. “Mason has to continue to toughen up. He can start by eliminating the phrase “oh fiddlesticks!” each time he gives up a goal.”

    Excuse you. It was ‘whoopsiedaisies’. It’s very manly. Just ask Hugh Grant…

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