Phillies’ Top Prospect, Nobody, Dies in Sudden Nothing

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Sad news for the future of the Phillies as their top prospect, nobody, dies from nothing.

The non-existent future of the franchise was not spotted passing away suddenly. Despite several years of supposedly good scouting, this top prospect with superstar potential is a pipe dream that does not exist.

“We are completely shaken by the sudden and shocking news,” said Manager Ryne Sandberg who has personally never met a top prospect in the system. “I speak on behalf of the entire organization as I send our deepest condolences to our fan-base.”

Next season the Phillies plan to wear no match to honor the fallen teammate. The Reading Phillies, the team that should have had a top prospect on the roster within the last 3 seasons, plan to retire no numbers in honor of this player who should have been in the minor league system, but never developed thanks to this team’s flimsy care for the future.

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