Last Man on Earth without a Cell Phone, Ray Didinger, Survives Technological Holocaust

Ray Didinger

We thought Philadelphia sports legend and NFL hall of Famer Ray Didinger was foolish to never own a cell phone. Following the collapse of society due to a technological holocaust involving a machine uprising, Didinger remains the sole survivor on earth.

The man who originally wrote “Two thirds of the earth is covered by water, the other is covered by Garry Maddox” now covers three thirds of the human population. Everyone else who once inhabited this space is now dead from the shock waves sent out by televisions and strangulation from our toaster cords.

Didinger credits his survival to not owning a cell phone, microwave, television, or any other piece of equipment built after 3000 BC. Reportedly Didinger does have access to fire as well as a wheel, the most basic necessities needed to live on.

Ray Diddy can be heard weekends on 94 WIP with no one, talking to no one, talking about nothing because he’s the only one smart enough to avoid electronics.

By forfeit, this means Didinger has won his stupid sports bet with former co-host Glen Macnow.

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