Larry Bowa Says Ryan Howard is an “Armenian League Player”

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Larry Bowa came on the radio earlier this week and was asked his opinion of Ryan Howard. After a screaming match with himself, Bowa finally settled down and gave a legitimate quote which has had everyone in Philadelphia talking.

“Howard’s not the player he used to be,” said Bowa. “I see him as an Armenian League Player.”

Bowa was asked if he meant American League, suggesting that Bowa is a forgetful old person and Howard is only capable of being a designated hitter.

Bowa rebuffed, “Yes I mean Armenian. Saying he’s an American League Player implies that he can still hit. He can’t. He belongs in the Armenian League.”

Not one of the most well-known leagues in the world, the Armenian Baseball Asssocation (there was a typo on the original doctrine and they do not have the funds to change it) is a mix of baseball, soccer, and genocide. The players have very little athletic ability and even fewer fingers. They are paid by the owners in being allowed to live.

Clearly Bowa does not want Howard around next season nor does he think very highly of “The Big Piece.” With two years left on his contract as well as a third option year without the option to time travel and never sign him to this huge lengthy contract, the Phillies will have to begin talks with teams in the Armenian Baseball Asssocation as soon as possible. Based on their history of International Scouting, the first step will probably be for the Phillies to learn where Armenia even is.

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