One player the Eagles have been missing the last few weeks is linebacker Mychal Kendricks. Ever since Kendricks hurt his calf when he threatened to send her to the veal patty factory following a fight, he has been absent from all team activities.
“I should have treated my baby cow better,” said Kendricks. “It was unnecessary to threaten her with turning her into dinner. I know this now. We’re still both trying to recover.”
As of today, there is no clear timetable for when Kendricks will return to the lineup. Had Kendricks decided to follow through with his threat, it would have only taken him about 2 minutes grilled on each side to return. Surprisingly, veal cooks pretty fast.