An epic Sunday Night Football battle between the Eagles and New York Giants took place last night at Lincoln Financial Field in South Philadelphia. Everything that could have gone right for the Eagles did and everything that could have gone wrong for the Giants was even worse.
The Giants suffered serious injuries, bad defensive breakdowns, and quarterback Eli Manning received more sacks than a homoerotic fraternity’s freshman pledge. Vinny Curry was all over Manning, making money question when he decided to become Indian food.
After the game Manning didn’t appear jarred by the loss. In fact, Manning was willing to review the grass at Lincoln Financial Field, and very favorably.
“It’s very comfortable,” said Manning. “Getting slammed onto my back so many times on it tonight, I found there was a nice cushion. I have to hand it to this grounds crew. Not only are the looking out for comfort and a beautiful design, the grass tastes great!”
Always on the lookout for new nutritious foods, Manning has been in talks with the grounds crew about obtaining patches which he can than resell in some hokey marketing campaign that he seems so fond of getting involved with. The biggest shame of it all is Manning has a face that belongs under a helmet.