If anyone in America should lose their job it’s probably that cute girl in the office who won’t fuck you. If we narrow it down to only including people in Philadelphia sports, Phillies General Manager Ruben Amaro Jr. is probably the man who should be fired most.
In a press release by the Phillies, they finally admitted why the worst GM in baseball has kept his job. He’s actually not working. Amaro Jr. is an indentured servant.
“I’m not a slave,” said Amaro Jr. “There’s a lot of dignity with being an indentured servant. For instance, I get cornered on a weekly basis into lying about how I actually believe this team can be competitive within the next three seasons. It’s a lot of fun if you enjoy being public enemy number one.”
Amaro Jr. first became an indentured servant when his playing career failed. He was in desperate need to avoid deportation and took the incredibly undesirable job working in the General Manager’s office for the Phillies. Long story short, other people did the job well, he benefited, and it’s impossible to get rid of him unless he quits which would lead to him getting stoned to death.