The end of an era took place today when the Flyers were sold to obese actress Lena Dunham. The largely built Dunham, best known for her creating the television show Girls and for her puppetry where she goes by the name Jeff, used her millions of left wing dollars to buy the hockey team from former owner Dan Snyder.
Fat Dunham knows very little about hockey and despite trying to relate to the common person, no longer can due to her fame. This isn’t stopping her from making a movie many are calling “a new standard of retarded.”
The misshapen Dunham will also not be paying the team anything this season to which many replied pretty positively.
“Working with such a great person like [Dunham] is payment enough,” said defenseman Luke Schenn. “He’s everything we could ever want in an owner and the first that can out-eat anyone on the team!”
The rest of the team is behind Dunham too. The only problem so far is how everyone keeps mistaking her for a fatter Bobby Clarke due to her weight and natural hockey-teeth.
As of this hour, chubby Dunham has yet to comment on becoming the first owner to ever deny her team payment. Once the local Krispy Kreme closes, we expect her to follow up with a half-assed apology because God forbid someone stay with what they believe in.